


This Song

by Dassy1407



Category: One Direction, One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, harry and liam are twins, larry may be a thing, louis is liam's bff, maybe not, stayne twins, ziam are in love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-21
Updated: 2014-10-13
Packaged: 2018-02-14 04:33:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2178081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dassy1407/pseuds/Dassy1407
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I’m not sure how to explain it quite yet but, Liam & Harry are twins, Louis is Liam’s best friend, Zayn & Liam are in love after 4 months, and Louis & Harry may have a thing, but that “thing” causes some bad things to happen. Just read it and find out, kay? Warning, the end of chapter one is graphic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Louis met Liam and Harry when he was 8 years old, and just moving into his new house with his mother and little sisters. He was out in the lawn with his mother, helping her instruct the movers where to put each box. Across the street, they saw a woman with two little boys cross the street. The twins, both different in their features apart from their curly hair—Harry’s darker than Liam’s—had come over with their mother, each clutching one of her hands.

“Welcome to the neighborhood. I’m Karen,” the lady told his mother.

Jay had gently clasped her hand on Louis’s shoulder and he knew she was glad to see happy faces, especially boys around her son’s age. “I’m Jay, it’s nice to meet you,” she said. “This is Louis, the girls are running around the house somewhere,” she explained, and nodded to the two boys in front of her. “Twins?”

Karen nodded and looked down at the boys, “Fraternal,” she explained. “This one here is Liam,” she said, nodding to the boy with golden hair and skin, with big brown eyes. He was standing in front of his mother, smiling brightly, missing his front tooth.

“Hi,” the boy said, eyes gleaming at Louis.

Karen then turned to the other boy, pulling him out from behind her skirt, where the other boy was hiding. “And this is Harry,” she explained.

This twin was paler than his brother, his hair just as curly but dark chocolate, and his eyes bright green.

“Hi,” Louis said to the other twin, waving his hand slightly.

“’lo,” Harry said shyly before letting go of his mom’s hand to run to Liam, hiding behind him.

“He’s a tad shy,” Karen explained.

“They’re adorable,” Jay smiled. “How old are you, boys?” she asked the twins.

“We’re seven,” Liam grinned, his eyes squinting.

“I’m eight,” Louis said.

This apparently appeased Liam because he jumped and tugged on his mom’s hand. “Can Louis come play at our house, mom?” he asked, practically begging.

“Oh dear, I’m sure his mom needs his help unpacking—“

Louis looked up at his mom and immediately jutted out his bottom lip. “Please?”

“Yeah, mom, please?” Liam also pouted and Louis could see Harry peeking out from behind Liam’s shoulder, also pouting at Karen.

Karen’s eyes fell to Jay, who sighed before saying, “Just for a little bit, Lou. Back for supper, kay?”

“Yay!” Liam jumped again, nearly knocking Harry off his feet. Before the shy boy could fall though, Liam reached around and grabbed Harry’s hand.

“Thanks, Mom,” Louis said, kissing her cheek when she bent down to give him a hug.

The gang hurried off across the street to the Stayne resident, Louis interrogating Liam about what games he had, Liam being just as quick to explain he had Star Wars Monopoly and a brand new set of cards.

~

From there, the rest was history. Harry eventually opened up, and the three got along like a house on fire. While the twins had many differences in their appearances, they had a synchronization that baffled Louis for years. Sometimes, when they would go on a trip with one of their family’s people would ask if they were triplets.

Growing up with the twins was a blessing in most cases, having two friends a year younger than him meant that he had friends that no one his age knew about. And Liam and Harry both looked up to Louis, but Liam especially. When the boys turned 11, things started to change and Harry started to opt out of hanging out with them, instead staying in his room.

“I want to be like you, Lou!” Liam explained one day when he told his mom he wanted a Spiderman backpack like Louis, not a Batman one like Harry. Louis sometimes felt like Harry was left out even before he stopped hanging out with them, but it wasn’t his fault that Liam was his best friend and Harry always preferred to stay home. Eventually, Liam stopped inviting Harry places.

“Does he not like me?” Louis asked one day.

“He likes you Louis, I don’t know why he doesn’t want to hang out with us. I mean, he’s fine when I’m home with him,” Liam shrugged. “He just prefers writing in his journal.”

~

In high school, Liam and Harry were still close, but they found their own hobbies. Harry found friends in the art and music department while Liam and Louis found their solace in football and track.

When Louis was in 11th grade and Liam and Harry in 10th, Harry introduced Liam to his friend Zayn, who then asked Liam out.

“Are you sure you want to go on this date with him?” Louis had asked Liam, who was shaking he was so nervous.

“Of course I do. I’m just scared. He’s Harry’s friend—I don’t know anything about him. What would we talk about?”

“Well you get on with your brother who likes art and stuff,,” Louis shrugged. “So if he’s friends with Zayn, then talk about things you would with your brother,” he suggested.

“I don’t think that’s going to work,” Liam said, growing quiet as if he didn’t mean to say that out loud.

Louis frowned and looked at his best friend. “Why?”

Liam hesitated a moment before saying, “Harry and I had a fight last night and now he won’t talk to me.”

Louis’s eyes widened. As much differences the twins had between them, never once had they not gotten along. “What did you fight about?” he asked.

Liam bit his lip, glancing up at his best friend from under his curls. “Nothing, it’s not important. Let’s get back to this date, okay?”

Louis nodded, and let it go, even though he didn’t forget about it.

~

The date went well, though, and a week later Liam and Zayn were holding hands in the hallways. Louis also spotted Harry smiling at his twin and friend from a distance. Louis waited until school started up again to ask Liam about the mysterious fight and Liam said that he and Harry made up and everything was fine.

“Can I at least know what the fight was about then?”

Liam seemed to have a mental debate in his mind before answering, “Don’t freak out, okay?”

Louis shrugged. Of course he wouldn’t freak out on his best friend.

Liam lowered his voice, “Harry likes you,” he said, glancing at the wall that separated them from Harry’s room.

Louis’s eyebrows flew up. “Like, likes me?” he asked.

Liam nodded, staring at Louis and searching for some kind of reaction.

Louis, though, didn’t know how to respond. Because for years, he always assumed Harry resented Louis for taking Liam away from him. But this—this was the exact opposite of what he thought. “I gotta go,” he stood suddenly.

“What? Louis, it’s okay if you don’t like him back, okay? Or-or if you do, that’s okay too,” Liam replied sincerely.

Louis grabbed his sweatshirt before turning to Liam, “I just have to think about it a little bit, okay? I’ll see you at the party tonight?” he asked.

Liam nodded. “Okay. But, um, Zayn convinced Harry to come tonight too,” he explained. “Either way, can you just, um not tell him you know? Or like, take it easy around him if you want to turn him down? Just, like don’t say anything. Tell me your decision later and I’ll talk to him,” he said and Louis winced at how concerned Liam looked.

“I don’t really know how I feel right now but the last thing I want to do it hurt your brother,” Louis explained.

Liam smiled gratefully, and Louis wondered if Liam was hoping that Louis was ask Harry out. “Thanks, Lou,” he said.

Louis then left, crossing the street to his own house and locking himself in the bedroom.

Did he like Harry? He didn’t know because he never really thought about it. They’ve both had girlfriends and boyfriends in the past, and yeah, maybe Louis had spent a few extra seconds watching Harry take his shirt off before getting into the pool at their last party, but did that mean he wanted to be with him?

Louis sighed and collapsed onto his bed. Okay, so maybe he found Harry’s smile endearing, and there was that time when he was 14 where he pictured them arguing over who Liam would be Best-Man to at their wedding.

Louis paled at another thought. What if he and Harry went out and then things ended badly? What would happen with Liam? Would he feel like he needed to choose his brother’s side and ditch Louis?

As much as Louis may have liked Harry, he couldn’t risk loosing the best friend he’s ever had. Now with a headache, Louis reached under his bed and grabbed the flask that Liam bought his for his birthday last year and began to drink. He felt that pre-gaming was the only way he was going to get through this party tonight.

~

When Harry arrived at the party, he immediately wanted to leave. He was only there because Zayn begged him to come along because it was his first party with Liam and he didn’t want to do anything stupid. Harry had rolled his eyes at his friend and said nothing he could ever do would change the way Liam felt about Zayn. When Harry first introduced Liam to Zayn, he had a small hunch about the way the two kept looking at each other when the other would look away, but he had no idea how quick and deeply the two would fall in love. It had only been 4 months, but he wouldn’t be surprised if Liam bought Zayn a ring soon.

Kidding, of course, because even though Liam was stupid in love, he wasn’t ready to pressure Zayn into anything, including this party. He was there when Liam insisted that Zayn didn’t have to come to the party with him if he didn’t felt comfortable, because it was at Nick Grimshaw’s mansion and he was a tool and invited every loud and intimidating person he could find in the town, but he also bought great beer and had a real DJ playing till 2am. Zayn insisted that he wanted to go, wanting to show his support for his ‘popular’ boyfriend and do what he wanted to do for once. Harry doesn’t even know how many-art shows Liam’s attended over summer break to support Zayn, so he understood where Zayn felt like he needed to step up his game.

But actually being there, unable to see past the sweaty bodies and marijuana smoke, he felt like his presence wasn’t actually required. He pushed through the mass of people to get to the kitchen, where he found Zayn, Liam’s arm wrapped securely around Zayn’s waist, as if too afraid to release him to the throngs of people.

“Hey,” Harry said, his voice barely over the sound of the music blaring from the living room.

“Glad you could make it, bro,” Liam grinned before taking a sip out of his red solo cup, which Harry knew for a fact was filled with anything except alcohol. His brother refused to drink, which would surprise anyone else, but Harry knew that his brother only had one kidney. Zayn, on the other hand, was quickly chugging down a can of beer.

“Nervous?” Harry asked, grabbing his own beer from the tub of ice on the floor before settling in to stand beside his friend.

“Naw,” Zayn said, obviously lying as he finished the beer and reached for another.

“Maybe want to slow down?” Harry questioned, glancing at Liam for some back up.

Liam caught his brother’s eyes before grabbing Zayn’s hand that had the fresh beer and gently set the can on the counter. “Let’s go for a tour, okay?” That’s one thing Harry knew would work between his brother and his friend—Liam knew how to distract people when they needed it. It was like a super power that his twin had—always being about to tell when someone was in trouble and knowing how to fix it.

Zayn released the can easily and let Liam lead him into the crowd.

Harry sipped at his beer for a while before he went in search of a rest room. He made it through the crowded living room before he managed to find doors that could possibly lead him to a rest room.

The first one was unfortunately a bedroom. With people sprawled out on the bed making out heavily. Instinctively, Harry yelped, “Sorry!” and began to close the door again when he heard a familiar laugh. “Niall?” he peeked his head back in, eager to see whom his friend—his only other friend besides Zayn and Liam—had managed to snag at the party. What he wasn’t expecting to see was a familiar bum in tight pants hovering over Niall’s wiggling form.

“Louis?” Harry choked out and the boy in question turned quickly, his blood shot eyes widening at Harry. Quickly, Louis rolled off of Niall, who was still giggling and wiggling around, obviously incredibly intoxicated.

“Da fuck ya doin’ in har?” Louis slurred, showing that he was dangerously intoxicated. “Get out!” he yelled, and Harry slammed the door shut between them.

His head went fuzzy for a moment as he stumbled back into the crowd.

“Harry?” He heard his brother’s voice and could feel warm hands on his cheeks, but he felt like he was going to pass out. “C’mon, Hazza,” Liam said and the next thing Harry knew, he was outside, being told to sit down on the front steps of the large house.

His head cleared up and he looked up to see Liam’s worried brown eyes staring at him. “Are you okay? Tell me what’s wrong,” he pleaded.

“D-did you tell,” Harry hic-upped loudly.

“Tell? Tell who what?” Liam asked, unable to get a clear sentence from his brother.

Harry swallowed before asking, “Did you talk to Louis about my feelings for him?”

Instead of answering, Liam asked, “Why?”

“I-I saw him, a-and Niall in the bedroom—they were—um, well,” he couldn’t finish, feeling light headed again.

“I didn’t talk to him yet,” he heard Liam say.

“Why not?” Harry questioned, frowning. “I mean, if he doesn’t like me, okay, b-but to go after my friend,” he grumbled, his mind struggling to form coherent thoughts. “This world isn’t fair.”

Liam felt tense beside him, which was strange because Liam was never stressed. “He doesn’t know anything yet. I’m sure he’s just drunk and doesn’t know what he’s doing.”

Harry felt tears on his cheeks, but he doesn’t remember the need to cry. “I really like him, Liam,” he whispered, leaning his head on Liam’s shoulder.

“I know,” Liam whispered. “I’m going to send Zayn out here to sit with you, okay? Then I’m going to go get my coat and keys and we’ll go home.”

Harry nodded slowly, too heart broken to even think about the fact that his brother is leaving a party before it even really started just to take him home.

Liam kissed his forehead before disappearing back inside, leaving Harry leaning against a porch post. A few minutes later, Zayn came out, rushing to Harry’s side and hugging him. “You okay?”

“Did Liam tell you?” Harry questioned fearfully. Even Zayn didn’t know about his crush on Louis. Only Liam.

Zayn shook his head. “Naw, just that you were upset and we needed to get you home,” he explained.

Harry shrugged and cuddled up to Zayn’s side. They sat like that for a few minutes before he felt Zayn tug his phone out to check the time. “I don’t know where Liam is. I’m gonna go try and find him, okay? I’ll be right back,” he promised before disappearing back inside.

Harry sat up a little straighter, feeling a little better as he stared out at the driveway in front of him. Above his head, he could hear music blasting out of open balcony doors. The party must have moved up a floor, he guessed.

As he tried to block out the music, he heard loud voices coming from right above his head. The voices were familiar, but his head hurt too much to put it together. Dropping his head to his knees, he closed his eyes for a moment.

Above him, he heard what sounded like metal clanging together, and a voice gasping. Raising his head, he opened his eyes in time to see blue jeans, plaid shirt, and golden curly hair hit the pavement with a thud and a loud crack.

Sound disappeared around him as he froze, staring at Liam lying motionless on the ground, blood pouring from his nose and pooling from under his head.

Zayn’s scream of, “Liam!” snapped him out of his daze before he stood on shaky legs and approached his brother.

 _Death_ screamed at him as he knelt by his brother, reaching with shaky hands to search for a pulse. Sobs wracked his body as he felt a weak—but there—pulse on his brother’s neck. “Liam,” he cried, his jittery hands hovering over his brother, too afraid to touch. Blood began to seep into his jeans.

People began to gather around him as he sobbed over his brother’s still body.

Sirens rang in the background and when he saw the flashes of the lights, arms pulled him up and away from his brother.

“Harry,” Zayn’s wrecked voice said into his ear and Harry stared at Zayn.

“What happened?” Harry’s voice shook, it was hard to believe Zayn could even understand what he said.

Zayn’s broken expression turned to anger and hatred as he turned his head towards the door. Harry slowly turned his head to see Louis standing in the doorway, looking incredibly small and broken. “He did this, Harry. He shoved Liam off the balcony.”

Harry’s entire world stopped.


	2. Apparently Titles Can Only Be 225 Characters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not edited, hope you like it though!

One Year Later

 _“We stood, steady as the stars in the woods, so happy-hearted and the warmth rang true inside these bones, as the old pine fell we sang just to bless the morning,”_ Harry sang _,_ his voice unknowingly drifting through the cracked door _._

“You have a beautiful voice, sweetie.”

Harry slowly stood up and turned around to see Jay, Louis’s mother, and his own mother, Karen, standing in the doorway.

“Thank you, Jay,” Harry said, his voice having dropped lower in the past year. Other things about him have changed to. His hair was wilder, his chest broader, his legs lankier.

“Sings to Li every day, I swear it,” Karen says, smiling the same smile she’s forced every day in the past year.

“I’m sure he loves that,” Jay said, her expression the same; only as happy as someone can be in a hospital room.

The two mothers crossed over the room and approached the bed that claimed the unconscious teenager.

“I brought him these,” Jay explains, setting the vase of yellow daisies on the table beside Liam’s head. “I remember you boys always yanking them from my garden to give to Karen and I as presents,” she explained with a small smile as she kept her eyes on Harry, instead of Liam.

Harry was used to people talking to him instead of Liam. After all, Liam wasn’t awake, and he hasn’t been conscious since the moments before his skull broke open onto Nick Grimshaw’s driveway over a year ago.

“Thank you,” Karen said, reaching over to take Liam’s motionless hand into hers. Harry broke eye contact to look around the room. This room was newly decorated with fresh flowers, balloons, and drawings. The fresh balloons and flowers were new because Liam had only been recently transferred to this hospital—one a lot closer to their home. At this local hospital, they only recently hired a specialist that was equipped to monitor Liam’s condition. Before, Harry and his mother were only able to visit Liam at another hospital nearly 3 hours away on the weekends.

“These drawings are wonderful,” Jay commented, taking in the many drawings of Liam’s face pinned up around the room. “Did you draw these?”

“No, Zayn did,” Harry, explained. Most of the drawings weren’t new, most of them having been moved down with Liam from the old hospital. Despite only have been dating for 4 months, Zayn didn’t give up on Liam, instead visiting him almost as much as Harry did and does, constantly talking directly to Liam as if he was awake, and drawing Liam’s face as if he was modeling for him and not in a coma.

“Sweet boy, that Zayn. I know Lou used to say how in love Liam was with him,” Jay said and Harry lowered his head at the sound of that name. No one has said that name in this room for months.

Neither Harry nor Karen responded, and Jay caught on to what she started. “He’s returning to school, you know?”

Harry lifted his head at this. “He is?” After the accident, Louis tried insanely to apologize but Zayn, with Harry reluctantly taking his friend’s side over Louis’s, refused to let Louis near Liam or Harry. Harry’s fear for his brother clouded his judgment and the need for an explanation of what happened. All he knew from Zayn was that night he found Louis and Liam arguing near the balcony in the middle of the party. He didn’t hear what they were arguing about, but the fighting turned violent and a few shoves were thrown before Louis had pushed Liam so hard that the bolts on the balcony broke, sending Liam over the 15 foot drop.

After Liam’s condition went unchanged for three weeks, Harry had enough energy to confront Louis about what happened, but by then, Jay had informed him that he was gone.

“He had been living with his dad for a bit, doing online schooling,” Jay explained. “But he wants to come back,” she paused. “And, if it’s okay with the two of you, he would like to visit Liam.”

Instead of either of them answering, a new voice startled them all, replying, “Absolutely not.”

Harry didn’t even have to look to know who it was.

“Zayn, honey,” Karen tried, but Zayn walked further into the room, looking dangerous.

“That boy is not allowed to see Liam,” Zayn stated firmly.

Jay’s cheeks flushed in embarrassment, gulping and looking nervous.

“Zayn, c’mon,” Harry tried.

“Harry, don’t tell me you’ve forgotten how your brother got in this situation?” Zayn spat and Harry suddenly had the urge to hit him.

Harry was then on his feet, glaring daggers at Zayn. “Of course I haven’t forgotten!” he yelled, ignoring both Karen and Jay’s warnings about keeping calm. “I’m never going to be able to forget the site of my brother’s body hitting that pavement. And that sound, oh god, do you know what that sounds like? His body literally broke right in front of me and I had to watch him bleed onto concrete,” he spat angrily. Tears blurred his vision suddenly. “I have nightmares, ya know? I see him fall over and over and each time I try to put him back together. I try to catch all the b-blood leaving his body and put it b-back but I can’t because it seeps into the ground and I can’t get it back, I can’t dig it out because my finger tips rip open and Liam’s still laying, broken in front of me and I can’t get him to wake up!”

There was a startled gasp from behind him and Harry whirled around to see Louis himself, standing in the doorway. He looked different—smaller in size—but his cheekbones sharper, his blue eyes greyer, his lips cracked and surrounded by stubble. Those same cold eyes flickered from Harry’s shocked face to Liam’s expressionless one.

“Louis, honey,” Jay started towards him but then Louis is gone, disappearing out the door. Jay followed after him.

There was an uncomfortable silence in the room, Liam’s heart rate monitor the only thing willing to move, before Karen gently gripped his hand.

“C’mon, Harry, I’ll take you come,” Karen said softly.

Ignoring Zayn’s muffled apologies, Harry let his mother lead him out to her car. Once they were both in the car, driving back to their house, Karen said, “I am so thankful that Zayn has stuck by yours and Liam’s side all this time, you know that right?”

Harry nods slowly, unsure where his mother was going with this.

“But one thing I’ve never liked about Zayn is how much he blames Louis. I hope you understand that what Louis did was an accident. The boys fought—god knows what about—and some rusty bolts on a shitty balcony is the cause of Liam’s accident.”

Harry felt a lump in his throat. “You don’t blame Louis at all?” he asked her. This is the first time they’ve really talked about what happened. They’ve only focused on Liam’s accident, the physical damage, and Harry’s mental damage, not much the events that led up to it.

“I did at first. How couldn’t I? But Jay’s been keeping me informed on Louis’s progress—“

“Progress?” Harry interrupted.

“I don’t even think Zayn’s blame is close to the blame that Louis has put onto himself. He’s been in therapy for quite some time,” she explains.

Harry sighs heavily, pinching his eyes closed. “I should have called him.”

“Don’t focus on the past, Hun. He’s back now and I think he’d appreciate it if you talked to him. Maybe took him down to visit Liam properly?”

Harry nodded and curled up in his seat. Starting tomorrow, he was going to figure out what actually happened on that balcony no matter what it took.

~~

The next day at school, Harry didn’t see Louis at all. He wondered if Louis changed his mind about coming back, which made Harry feel guilty. He never would have went on his rampage yesterday about Liam’s accident if he had known Louis was there.

Harry wasn’t even sure why he broke down like that. Over a year and Harry had only spoken about his nightmares out loud once, and that was to Liam, the day after the doctors tried another surgery to relieve some of the pressure off his brain. It was then that they had to shave the rest of Liam’s golden locks off, not just the section around his stitches.

The last time Liam had short hair was in 6th grade when Louis accidently got silly putty in it while messing around at the park. Harry had been so angry at the time—both at Louis for causing Liam to lose one of the few things that made Harry and Liam look alike, and at Liam for being excited to have a new hairstyle. “I look like you, Lou!”

Now, the doctors asked to keep Liam’s hair pretty short in case anything ever happens and he would need emergency surgery.

With Harry’s hair continuing to grow wilder, his voice growing deeper, and his legs getting longer, he wondered if Liam would even recognized him when he woke up.

After school, Harry took the initiative to cross the street and knock on the Tomlinson’s door. Jay’s car wasn’t in the drive way, but he could hear the TV on. After a few moments, the door opened and there Louis stood.

As he did yesterday, Louis looked small—several inches shorter than Harry—with his shoulder’s slouched, his hair outgrown and sticking up at all ends. He looked surprised to see Harry, his eyes almost lighting up at the site.

“Louis,” Harry began, swallowing the wave of emotions that came with speaking to his old best friend, once crush.

Louis took a sharp intake of breath before saying, “You got tall.”

A small smile briefly crossed Harry’s lips. It lasted less than a second. “I’m sure you’ve simply shrunk,” he explained.

Despite Harry’s resistance to smile, Louis grinned. It didn’t reach his eyes—they were still grey. “Right,” he said, his expression softening.

“I, um,” Harry chose to look at the ground, his hand reaching to rub at the back of his neck. “I was going to talk to you at school, but you weren’t there---“

“Right, yeah, sorry, I wasn’t feeling up to it today,” Louis stammered, his eyes scanning his bare toes nervously.

“Right, no, I understand,” Harry said, nodding as if he understood Louis’s exact reasons. “But, I was wondering if you wanted to go to the hospital with me?”

Louis raised his head again, his eyes glistening. “Really?”

Harry nodded. “I’d really like it if you joined me. Mum works late, and Zayn has something going on at the school tonight—“

“The art show,” Louis supplied. Harry was too nervous to ask him why he knew Zayn had an art show tonight, and Harry didn’t.

Harry simply nodded as if he knew that and said, “And it’s kind of hard being there alone.”

Louis nodded eagerly. “I really want to go, yes, Harry, thank you,” he said in a rush, turning back into the house mumbling about getting his shoes.

Harry waited on the porch, Louis disappearing for just a minute before returning, grey Toms on his feet, a faded sweatshirt on his shoulders. Harry paused, “Is that Liam’s sweatshirt?”

Louis froze at closing the door, eyes darting down to the crested L.P. on the pocket. “Shit,” he gasped, quacking grasping at the zipper. “I didn’t even realize—I’ll go change,” he said but Harry grabbed his arm before he could go.

“No, Lou, it’s fine,” Harry said, forcing a smile. “I was just asking,” he assused.

Louis visibly calmed, smiling thankfully at Harry. “Okay,” he said.

Harry glanced down at his hand on Louis’s arm, quickly letting go and turning to cross the street to get to his car, assuming Louis would follow.

Louis got into the passenger seat moments after Harry had started the engine. “This your mom’s old car?” Louis asked, gesturing to the crack on the dash, but also towards the record air fresheners and other Harry-Personalized décor.

“Yeah, was a gift for our birthday,” Harry responded, knowing Louis would get the hint with the use of “our”. It wasn’t just Harry’s car, it was the car he had to share with Liam once he was awake because that’s the way it would have been if Liam hadn’t gotten hurt.

Louis took the hint and stayed quiet for the remainder of the car ride to the hospital. Once they arrived and Harry shut the engine off, Louis reached over and grabbed Harry’s wrist.

“Wait,” Louis whispered and Harry looked over to find that Louis was shaking.

Harry stilled and waited for Louis to continue.

Instead of saying anything, Louis closed his eyes, took a few deep breaths, all while his hand remained on Harry’s wrist. Once the tears in his eyes dispersed, and he stopped shaking, he let go. “Okay,” Louis said, his voice just as soft. “Let’s go.”

Harry quickly got out and headed towards the hospital. He paused once he was inside and looked back to make sure Louis was keeping up. He was a few yards back, looking around the hospital entryway like it was going to swallow him hole. “C’mon,” Harry urged gently and Louis picked up his pace, choosing to switch his focus to the back of Harry’s head.

When they reached the room, Harry stopped outside of it. “I know we have a lot to talk about, and I know personally, I have a lot of questions,” he began.

Louis nodded too quickly saying, “I know you do. And I will answer anything, I promise,” he said, eyes flickering to the door.

Harry, appeased by this answer, turned the doorknob and pushed open the door. “I’ll give you a few minutes,” he said. Louis slowly walked into the room, approaching Liam’s unconscious form as if he were a ghost. As the door slid shut, Harry saw Louis’s shoulder’s and back shake with a sob while crying, “I’m so sorry, Li.”


	3. My hands hurt and this is really short with sooooo many mistakes, probe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So instead of this story being as long an awesome as I had planned, each chapter is going to have a lot of stuff quickly played out, but you won't miss any of the bigger scenes I already have outlined. Enjoy.

“Thank you for this,” Louis whispered, hiding behind the coffee cup in his hands.

Harry raised an eyebrow and asked, “For what? You paid for the coffee,” he shrugged, sipping his own.

Louis shook his head and sighed, “I meant for taking me to see Liam.”

Harry set his cup down in front of him. “Right.” He nodded. “It was no big deal. He probably gets bored of hearing my boring ole voice everyday.”

Earlier, when Louis had come out of Liam’s room, his eyes red, his cheeks damp, he had said nothing to Harry before disappearing into the restrooms down the hall. When Harry went in to sit with Liam for a while, Louis came in about 10 minutes later, his eyes still red but his cheeks dry as he sat in the chair in the corner. They stayed for another hour, Harry mostly talking to Liam like he normally did—discussing school events, how their mom was really handling everything, and even about Zayn’s art show. Louis stayed quiet, mostly just questioning Harry on the gossip at school.

It was Louis’s idea to go get coffee afterwards, his treat.

“It’s not enough to repay you, but I thought it was a nice thought, plus I need caffeine,” Louis had said.

Now, after Louis had finished two large coffees, he seemed to remind him of the Harry once had a crush on—buzzing with energy. “Oh, Harry, I’m sure that’s not true. Li’s probably more confused about how you turned into Morgan Freeman with that voice.”

Harry chuckled, “It’s not that bad,” he said.

“Us outside your brain hears differently.”

Harry simply shrugged, trying to ignore the thoughts that wondered if Liam’s voice would sound different if he woke up.

The pair fell silent for a few minutes, both sipping at their drinks.

Harry eventually, after looking at most of the remaining customers at the shop leaving, spoke up saying, “I’m not sure if this is the best time, but I was wondering if you were up for answering a few of those questions for me?”

Louis’s eyes flickered with panic for a moment before he nodded eagerly, “Of course, Harry.” He cleared his throat. “That’s what the caffeine was needed for,” he added with a smirk. 

“That night…” Harry began, but he didn’t know where to start. “Well, why don’t you start?”

Louis shifted uncomfortably before he began to speak, his eyes remaining focused on the table space between them. “That night didn’t start out like I had planned. There was a point during the day that I didn’t even think about going to the party.”

“What changed?”

Louis’s eyes flickered up to meet Harry’s for a moment, but then away. “I’m going to be completely honest with you because I already royally fucked up you and your family enough, I won’t gain anything by lying now. I went to the party to get extremely wasted because I was upset and angry.”

“At Liam?” Harry asked, figuring that was what lead up to the fight. Yet, that wouldn’t explain the scene he had witnessed in the bedroom with Louis and Niall.

Louis shook his head. “No. I was angry and upset at myself.” He paused, his eyes going up to meet Harry’s, looking harsh. “Because of you.”

Harry’s eyes sparked with genuine confusion. “Me?”

Louis nodded slowly, refusing to break eye contact even as his heart beat against his chest. “Liam told me about your crush, and I was selfish to think that I could forget about the entire thing if I got drunk. But, that planned backfired 100% when you walked in on me and Niall.”

Harry was the one to force eye contact, his eyes glossing over. “Are you saying…are you saying that the reason…?” a lump caught in his throat.

Louis sat up straight, reaching across and grabbing Harry’s hand. “No…God, Harry, I’m not blaming you. Fuck! That’s the last thing I’m doing here. You could have been the very person to pour me my drinks that night but it was me who reacted negatively and it was me who got violent when your brother stood up to be for being an asshole.”

Harry visibly shuddered, his fingers tightening with Louis’s. 

“Liam found me and told me off for being a twat to you and I just flipped out. But, fuck, Harry if you think I intended to hurt him,” Louis broke off, a sob rippling up his throat.

Harry squeezed tighter. “It was rusty bolts, Lou,” he said in a whisper.

Louis huffed, “Rusty bolts that I pushed Liam into. I’ve analyzed that moment so many times that I see Liam’s face every time I close my eyes at night. I can see his expression of pure panic when the gate behind him flew open. And if I hadn’t,” he had to pause, tears now rolling down his cheeks, “if I hadn’t been so drunk maybe I could have stopped him from falling.”

Harry used his free hand to wipe the tears from his eyes. “I’ve stopped blaming you a long time ago. You should too.”

Louis nearly sobbed, “How can you not blame me? It was my entire fault. If I had made one different decision that night, Liam would be right here!” he shouted, pointing to the empty chair between them.

Harry had nothing to reply with except, “It is what it is. Liam’s not here. But we are and he wouldn’t want you to do this to yourself. You get that, right? Liam is so fucking selfless that when he wakes up, he’s going to punch you for ever thinking about blaming yourself.”

Louis let out a shaky breath and stayed quiet.

Still holding hands, but not looking at each other, the two boys collected their thoughts and calmed their emotions. 

Harry still had questions, but they could wait.

“Thank you, Harry,” Louis said again, finally letting go of his hand when Harry’s phone buzzed on the table.

Harry nodded curtly before answering his phone after seeing his mom’s name on the screen. “Hello?”

“Harry, where are you?” Karen asked urgently.

“At the coffee shop by the hospital, why?” Harry asked, glancing at Louis who looked concerned.

Karen sighed, “I’m on my way to the hospital now, please Harry get there as quickly as possible.”

Harry visibly paled, thinking the worst, “Why? Mom? What’s happened? Is Liam alright?”

“Harry,” Karen nearly sobbed over the phone, “They said just after you left Liam’s monitor’s started going off all weird-like, so they ran tests and he’s showing a lot more brain function. They think he’s going to wake up soon, like literally in a few hours,” her cries were of happiness, Harry now knew. 

“Shit,” Harry gasped, his hand flying to cover his dropping jaw. “We’ll be right there,” he hung up right after and grabbed Louis’s hand again, yanking him up. 

“Harry? What’s wrong? Is Liam okay? Please don’t tell me he’s dea—“

“No! He’s waking up!” Harry shouted, a mix of happiness and fear laced in his voice, but his posture being pure eagerness as he pulled Louis out of the shop and down the walkway back to the hospital.


End file.
